I think I need to study more often.

I'm retaking Chemistry 111 and 112 this summer, at the community college I went to a little bit ago. The drive sucks, but it gives me time to see the mister during the week, rather than driving back to Mt. P right away. I also use the class time for knitting, reading comic books, and real books too. Tall Guy/Boyfriend got me American Gods, since I'm a fan of Stardust and Eternals (Neil Gaiman books), so I've been working away at that.

Stupid Ex still texts me quite often, and its weird. I don't know when the last time I saw him and didn't do something I would regret was, so these messages are quite weird. For example, "and i know what i said, but would it be bad to say that i miss you, and that i still think about you?" is a bit weird, he's got a girlfriend (the cow) that he cheats on with me, and will openly admit that the sex sucks, she's pushing him waaaaaay too hard into a relationship, and she has mom boobs and mom hair. He slept with me, they broke up, he sleeps with me again, they get back together, and he keeps cheating on her. Now, I don't know a lot about relationships, but I don't think theirs is working, at all. I don't know, maybe this girl really is that fucking stupid.

One of my best friends from high school had a bonfire, which I took TG to, and SE called during. Weird. A, who had the bonfire, is getting married next summer to a kind of geeky, goofy guy. I guess I'm happy for her, if she's happy. It just really feels like all of my friends are rushing into things now, and I'm starting over again. I've known D even longer than A, and she's been with the same guy for five years- they don't live together yet, but she knows how many kids she wants. There's just something kind of off about that- she isn't even 20 yet. But I have persuaded her to start going to knitting group with me, and I might try and see if she'll try sock knitting. More young people need to do this, most definitely.

Cheating....

What exactly constitutes cheating? I ask because Tall Guy and I are dating now- but Stupid Ex and I are sleeping together, too. I know this is wrong, believe me. But there's this incredible chemistry between us that just isn't going away. The sex is good, really, really good. And I know I should feel terribly guilty, but I don't really. TG and I are dating but he's not my boyfriend, and I'm not his girlfriend. And SE is single again, although we did have sex while he was still seeing What's-her-face. But I am thoroughly confused. Things are definitely slowing down with TG, and he specifically asked me not to sleep with my ex again. I guess that's the only thing I feel pretty bad about. We'll end up seeing what happens- it isn't fair to do this to him though, not after what his now-ex-wife did to him.

Boys...

Why do they have to be so confusing?

I'm talking to Stupid Ex again, because he keeps talking to me. Every time I get online, he IM's me. He's called me. He's letting me borrow comics again. Good enough guy, I suppose, but he knows why I didn't want to talk to him, and continues to be a thorn in my side. I'm pretty thoroughly over him though- but I miss the sex. God, do I miss the sex.

Tall Guy's truck got broken into last night, and now he's being all closed and quiet. We've been having a good time though. I like that I can goof around with him, and we don't handle each other with kid gloves. Sure, I've got some bruises, but they'll go away and I had fun getting them. He's confusing too, though. Saying that I'm beautiful is a huge complement, coming from him, but following up with "I feel bad saying it though" doesn't make me feel good. Either does saying "I love you" followed by "Fuck, I told myself I wasn't going to say that." He did get me an Iron Man slurpee cup though, which I was excited by.

Greek Boy and I have a date when he gets back from Florida. TG is ok with this, because "He won't make you feel like I do." :D I'm falling for this guy, harder than I want to.

In other news, school is going well except for Organic Chemistry. I have a test tomorrow in Astronomy, and I made cupcakes for my Astronomy Lab. Gave one to TG, then remembered that a.) I use mayonnaise as an egg replacement, and b.) he really, really hates mayonnaise. The cupcakes fell, but they're incredibly moist, and I made a buttercream frosting for them that turned out pretty delicious. I did superglue my hand fixing the mixer though.

Knitting

I haven't been knitting in a while, or at least not nearly as much as I used to. I think that after Christmas, I was happy to be able to knit for myself, but since then I only finished a pair of Endpaper Mitts for myself, and a button mini-scarf yesterday, along with a couple of washcloths. I have to knit up something for my nephew, so I bought some Debbie Bliss Baby Cashmerino and am hoping to make a hat and maybe a pair of socks, if I have time. I'm working on my clapotis again, but I absolutely hate the pattern. It bores me, and I'll probably gift it once I'm done. Bought some beautiful Noro from the LYS too, and started a calorimetry. The yarn's colors are incredible, reminds me of a peacock, but the wool is kind of... twiggy. I've picked out a few pieces of wood from it already, but it's nothing bad. Haven't touched my socks, or Spider-Man recently, and don't know if I will. I lost one of my size 3 dpns, and can't even find my 4s, which I need for Nephew #3's hat. Hopefully they show up, but I doubt I'll find them. At least it shouldn't be terribly expensive, I hope.

Normal?

Little Sister gets hurt every four years, inevitably. Usually its my fault, but this year, a week before her seventeenth birthday, she got hit by a car walking to school. She's mostly fine, lots of bruising, cut up forehead, but she's getting bad headaches, and is not looking forward to her birthday in the least. I feel so bad for her, and I can't figure out what to do to make her day better, especially since I work and have class most of the day.

Things with Stupid Ex and I are completely over- I even deleted him off my buddy list and got rid of his texts, which weren't even anything bad. He has a new girlfriend, and I'm seeing Tall Guy now (!!!). We did have one last go at it though, which ended up in a huge fight, and I cried during sex, which never happens.

Tall Guy actually spent the night last night, after we went and saw 10,000 B.C. and hung out at the Tridge. He's a nice guy, but he's a lot older, a lot taller, and things are definitely different with him than they were with SE. It was nice waking up to somebody though, and I like making somebody happy. Couldn't say where things are going to go from here, but that's a lot of the fun of it.

Starting Over...

Ok, there are a few guys in my life. Some I see all the time, like the ex, and guys from work and school. Then there's guys who show up every few months and cause trouble- two in particular are Greek Boy and Fuckface. I've flirted heavily with both, but nothing to fruition with either of them. Now there's a new guy, I'm kind of interested in, I think he's going to be called Tall Guy, for now.

Last week, SE (stupid ex) was texting a new girl while I was over, which set me off that there's no way we're getting back together, but I was still pissed. So I have a crazy melodramatic freakout in the car, movie-style, and punch myself in the jaw. I'm not fucking with you. And the crazy part is, that wasn't enough pain for me, so I decide to go get my nose pierced, over at Black Ball in M-town.

So I go in to get it pierced, and Fathead vaguely recognizes me after a bit, and there's this really tall guy who comes in at the same time as me. He came back when I got my nose pierced, which was weird because I was super emotional and when the needle went in, I swore quite loudly and then just started crying. There wasn't really anybody else there, so the guys were okay with me hanging out for a while, I wasn't going bowling for a while. I'm sitting here, head back, tears running down my face, and TG is staring at my tits. Not kidding, I think I asked what he was thinking, and he said my breasts, which are quite nice, and Fathead pierced my nipples for me, so he knows I've got them done too. So the piercer has to go and change another girl's jewelry, and TG is just sort of hanging out, and asks me out for coffee, which I don't ordinarily say yes to. I am the queen of standing up guys, but I wanted to do something different, and he's nice and normal looking. And coffee goes well, we talk for a few hours and I end up late for bowling.

So we just had a date-ish thing last night, and it was lovely. He's cute, quiet, nervous, older, going through a divorce, and hasn't been with anybody since his wife. And he's not a bad kisser. :D

There's something so nice about a new blog- it's like a new shoe, unsoiled and clean, shiny. Really, I want someplace to share all of my stuff anonymously. I just moved out on my own, and am trying to go vegetarian (10 days in, WHOOOOHOOO!) and am in school for teaching science. Stupid Boy is my ex, we dated for three years, and are currently "friends with benefits." Fucking stupid, so I might end that.

I want to be me, for me and nobody else. For the first time in my life, I'm going to start living in my own shoes.